Cosmic Cranberry Scones: A Glitchy Delight from Bella’s Kitchen
Flaky, buttery, and kissed with tart cranberries, these Cosmic Cranberry Scones are a celestial treat straight from Bad Bella’s glitchy kitchen! With a touch of almond flour for richness and Greek yogurt for the perfect tender crumb, these scones are a dreamy fusion of sweet and tangy. Whether you’re fueling up for an interdimensional adventure or just enjoying a cozy morning, this easy recipe will have you baking like a cosmic pro. Grab your tea and let the magic unfold! 🚀✨ #SconesFromTheStars
Cosmic Cranberry Scones: A Glitchy Delight from Bella’s Kitchen
Let’s talk about Bella—my actual cat. The tiny, chaotic force of nature who runs my life, my kitchen, and, let’s be honest, my soul. If you’ve ever had a cat, you know exactly what I mean. One second, she’s a majestic loaf of fur soaking in the sunlight; the next, she’s knocking my coffee off the counter with the precision of a NASA-engineered robotic arm.
This tiny menace—who somehow has the energy of an entire interdimensional entity—became the inspiration for Bad Bella, the mischievous, glitch-happy baker in my ongoing series, Tales from Mr. B. E. Gladwrap (which, by the way, you should totally check out here).
And since Bad Bella was going to be a chaotic space baker, it only made sense to create a recipe in her honor: Cosmic Cranberry Scones. They’re buttery, flaky, kissed with tart cranberries, and—if made correctly—should fuel you for an interdimensional adventure (or at least a productive morning).
Let’s bake.
🛸 What You’ll Need for This Cosmic Bake
- 2 cups (300g) unbleached all-purpose flour – The sturdy foundation of your scones, much like the unwavering judgment of your cat.
- 1/3 cup almond flour – Because Bella demands extra flair in everything.
- 1/4 cup (56g) dark brown sugar – Deep, molasses-kissed sweetness for those cozy, slightly mysterious vibes.
- 2 teaspoons baking powder – The key to lifting these beauties into the stratosphere.
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda – The unsung hero of a good rise.
- 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt – A reminder that even intergalactic pastries need balance.
- 1/2 cup (120g) cold butter, cubed – As cold as Bella’s heart when I ask her to get off the counter.
- 3/4 cup (170g) nonfat plain Greek yogurt – Keeps things tender and gives just the right amount of tang.
- 1 large egg – The binder of all things, both in the cosmos and in scones.
- 1/2 cup dried cranberries – Tart little bursts of joy, scattered like stardust throughout.
👩🍳 How to Make These Scones Without Summoning Chaos
1. Preheat & Prepare
Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C) and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Imagine it as a glitch-proof barrier between your scones and the unpredictable nature of the universe.
2. Mix the Dry Ingredients
In a large bowl, whisk together the all-purpose flour, almond flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Bad Bella would absolutely skip this step out of impatience, but trust me—it matters.
3. Cut in the Butter
Take your cold, cubed butter and work it into the flour mixture using a pastry cutter (or your fingers, if you’re feeling chaotic). The goal? Pea-sized buttery bits scattered throughout, waiting to create pockets of flakiness. It should look like cosmic dust settling before a storm.
4. Add the Wet Ingredients
In a separate bowl, whisk together the Greek yogurt and egg. Pour it into the flour-butter mixture and gently mix until a dough forms. It might look a little shaggy at first, but patience, young traveler. The cosmos is unfolding as it should.
5. Stir in the Cranberries
Fold in those vibrant dried cranberries, ensuring they’re evenly distributed so every bite gets a pop of tartness.
6. Shape & Cut
Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface and gently pat it into a circle about 3/4-inch thick. Slice it into 8 wedges—or go rogue and shape them however the void speaks to you. Transfer them onto the parchment-lined baking sheet.
7. Bake to Golden Perfection
Slide them into the oven and bake for 12-15 minutes, until they’re golden brown and slightly firm to the touch. The edges should be delicately crisp, while the insides stay soft and buttery.
8. Cool (If You Have the Patience)
Let the scones cool slightly before diving in. Bad Bella may or may not have singed her whiskers from impatience.
9. Enjoy with Cosmic Tea
These scones are divine on their own, but a little honey butter or clotted cream wouldn’t hurt. Pair them with your favorite celestial tea (or a glitchy coffee) and bask in the interdimensional magic of a truly good bake.
🐾 Final Thoughts from Bella (The Cat)
“Time is an illusion. Breakfast is not. Make the scones.”
So there you have it! Cosmic Cranberry Scones, straight from Bad Bella’s glitchy kitchen to yours. Whether you’re baking for adventure or just trying to survive Monday, these scones will get you through.
And if you’re curious about the full story behind Bella and her interdimensional escapades, don’t forget to check out Tales from Mr. B. E. Gladwrap—new episodes every Monday! Full details right here.
Happy baking, space traveler! 🚀✨
Sweet! ✨
XOXO or whatever. 😘
